stargazing

i hate myself

2011-01-31T01:29:00.002+08:00

well the title pretty much explains it all...

i've said before how people around us affect us... it includes negatively..

some things lately has forced me to face some things which i haven't been...

i've been trying very hard to overcome.. but i just can't :( WTH

Old already

2010-12-30T17:54:00.001+08:00

It's funny how my point of view changed over time....
Last time, i used to think if I ever get betrayed I will never forgive. But recent years my point of view changed. I begin to understand why some people choose to forgive.

Maybe that comes w old age I guess hahaha.

好心痛你

2010-12-30T10:06:00.001+08:00

It takes years n months to build up trust. But it's fragile and can easily broken in mins or seconds.

Cheap thrill has it's own consequence. Is it worth to jeopardize the trust that is so painstakingly build up.
Love is a gamble u never know how things will turn out. But we cannot avoid it altogether.
However 己所不裕，勿施于人 is a simple philosophy.

I pray that u have the strength to overcome in ur path.

What makes u ticks?

2010-12-28T23:21:00.001+08:00

Had a discussion with ry on how many people just got stuck in the stereotype.. Less adventurous. Nothing bad abt it. Just that this formula doesn't work for us. Haha

Indeed cos work takes up a big bulk of our time so we gradually form our identity around our jobs and our income / earning power. Money is important, without it alot cannot be accomplished. However, that's not who we are! We need to find out what we need socially, mentally etc.

I'm very thankful that I get to encounter many different people in different stage of my life and very often provides me a different perspective that broadens my sights.

I'm not trying to be different or preach others. But I always believe in keeping an open mind. How do you know what u can excel in? You will have to try out before you know right? It seems like as we grow older, we lost the courage to try out new things and explore our own limits. Like I always believe, there are many possibilities out there, it's just whether we encounter/expose to them or not.

This is a reminder to myself, always have the courage to explore boundaries and always have time with own self to not lose sight of myself. Many assumed the role of wife and forget own self, assume role of mother and forget role of wife. When u grow old, you realize U r totally lost. I might be idealistic and everyone most probably say it's impossible. But I would still wanna try. :)

Just some thoughts.

So it's not by chance!

2010-12-28T00:36:00.002+08:00

Well.. my hard work and lunch study breaks does returns! Managed to squeeze another distinction for my 2nd module! hope i can continue to keep up the standard..
Like what was mentioned in the movie 3 idiots.. i guess there is a great difference between learning for grades and learning for knowledge.. in uni it was the former and now it's the latter.. which perhaps explains why the difference... haha

anyway.. today is another happy day! Yums...

Most blissful december ~ 2010

2010-12-13T13:39:00.002+08:00

Well... This is indeed the best december so far! haha
Plenty of happy news around :) including myself :)

Really happy with my job.
Finally received the ring on 11-12-10.
Holiday plans to Australia!

What more can i ask for in life? :D

Thankful for all the love i've received from those around me.
Have a bless and lovely Christmas to everyone!

Happiness

2010-10-26T20:35:00.002+08:00

I'm happy. I'm contented. I like my job so far. The environment is cosy.
I'm happy to be back home where all my loved ones are with me.
I'm happy koko is now mrs Ong legally and she has found someone who treasures her n is worthy of her love
I'm happy Tracy is officially engaged
I'm happy that haohao has safely arrived to our world
So many happy news. What more can I ask for?

I'm a happy girl! Of which, the happy girl has disappeared for a long time.

Welcome home happy girl!

有的必有失

2010-09-24T00:49:00.002+08:00

在这段期间，我认识了好人与坏人。看得更清楚了。
真真假假，在这一瞬间，模糊了。也不重要了。
今晚，是在这里的最后一晚。
我只想做我自己。简简单单。这阵子，我真的似乎迷失了自己。
或许，这是一件好事。
是时候找回自己。

我的出现，本来只是一个过客。
帮我的人，谢谢你了。我会永远记得你们的恩惠。
其他的人，我不记得也不用记得。我只是个过客。

晚安了。

warm fuzzy feeling

2010-09-11T02:27:00.001+08:00

it's such a pity... i'm leaving here soon... but i'm very thankful for the nice people who've crossed my path.
Especially today.
Coincidentally met the ibm pm today. I always felt he's a nice chap :) and in work.. i usually agree with him more than my own pm.. but i have to zip my mouth because of obvious reasons.
i always felt guilty towards him... cos what my company did to his company. but that's beyond me.
really very nice fellow, gave me many survival tips in bkk.. too bad it came too late.
knowing that i'm staying in bkk this weekend, he even lent me his jap restaurant discount card.. muahahhaa
but i'm still thankful that our paths have crossed. fellow singaporean.

Got the moody's vendor invitation for dinner at one of their apt...
was hesitant going becos it was raining
but i am extremely glad that i went
it was great company :)
had fun with a really chirpy 4 yr old girl
nice time chatting till 1am with the peeps.

one of them said i was happier back in my prev coy. i guess alot of people noticed that too. it's not a positive sign. n apparent.. its not entirely due to myself too.

I guess some things we can't change.
I'm leaving cos of the mean people... but i'm still thankful for the nice people who given me the warmth during the cold n harsh period.
I'm receiving lotsa supportive people of my decision.
Apparently i was mixing with the wrong crowd.
So it's now time to fix that up.

who are ur friends

2010-09-07T18:24:00.002+08:00

i've done it.. yes and i'm getting various response.
friends - i support ur decision, things will be better. it's a wise decision.
non-friends - oh, so who's going to cover you? wait till bonus then leave lah. so you'll be doing xxx and yyy before you leave right?

how straightforward.

i'm grateful to those who gave me the support and confidence that i should make the move.

chances

2010-08-19T14:12:00.001+08:00

what are the chances of getting the position 1 want?? I've sent in 2-3 applications... I hope i get at least a chance for an interview... :S

pray hard for me..

expectations

2010-07-19T22:53:00.002+08:00

am i expecting too much? i really dunno man... sigh...
I just wanna do something different.. issit so tough? sigh...

counting down to sept.... i hope he keeps his words... >< I'm sick of being stuck in meetings which i dun understand a single thing...

maybe i should just bochup n let client chase me back.. -_-"

dark

2010-07-01T00:47:00.002+08:00

I know that the world is dark... alot of "unclean" activities.. but.. i didn't expect it to be so "dark".... sighhh

will i be able to believe in myself? or will i get lost?

maybe i'm just pms-y.....

y do i feel more comfortable with vendor consultants.. cp my own fellow colleagues? why...?

Long time no see

2010-06-08T17:49:00.003+08:00

Well.. it's been a long long time since i last updated or posted an entry... too much things catching up with me i guess... also dunno what i'm so busy with also...

Things are pretty much the same... SIN-BKK-SIN... kinda worn out lately and caught a flu bug.. can't rem when was the last time i'm down with fever.. usually just running / blocked nose n sore throat.. but this time round.. fever.. hahha i guess it serves as a reminder that i'm not that strong anyway..

It's already june n i've yet to see my replacement in the project... so.. we shall see how long this lip service will go on.. i've already update my job CV on search engines... but i still feel the lack of experience required for the roles available leh... sigh...

I've already applied for my part time masters and will be starting in jul!! hahaha wonder how i will cope... keke.. that's about all from me..

Granny felt down recently... hope she'll recover fast fast.. sigh.. she's like only a bag of bones... so weak n fragile...

hmmm

2010-05-05T12:21:00.001+08:00

actually i realised... somehow.. i formed a closer bond with my singtel colleagues... maybe they're simpler people i guess... till today still keep in contact :) though all busy with own stuffs..

Frustration

2010-04-27T10:09:00.001+08:00

Qn: You need 3 generator to run the electrical supply of a house. One generator broke down, what should you do?

Ans: FIX THE SPOILT GENERATOR LAH!

But then... some smart alec decided to take the easy way out... instead of fixing the spoilt generator.. he transfer the load the other 2 working generator... WTH... sooner the other 2 generator will overwork.. burn out and spoil also.. in the end he will end with nothing!

Fyi, i'm one of the 2 working generator. My beloved project manager wants the whole world to love him so he takes up everything... his beloved sucessor is not functioning.. so every little thing everyone wants falls in my lap. Don't you just love rewarding the hardworking with more work?! My patience is super wearing thin... i shall adopt the "block-information" strategy, "act-blur" strategy and last but not least "email-every-recommendation" strategy...

I'm tired.... of how things are being run... very short visioned... sigh... i know everyone has his / her flaw... but.. i've been trying my best to tolerate and accomodate.. but it's not working... Maybe i'm just PMS-y. I should just focus on other people's strengths.... >.<

FAT!

2010-02-20T22:13:00.001+08:00

OMG... i spent so much of my time here eating!! i just had the biggest bowl of sharks fin in my life... super guilty... will post the pics on FB when i get connection.. :P

i really hope we pull out fr the project..! den i can be back at home!

disillusioned project manager

2010-02-09T20:01:00.002+08:00

what do u do when u have a disillusioned project manager.... he's really upset... he mentioned that big boss can decommit to client means big boss can also decommit to the his staff.. what he didn't know is... I was already DECOMMIT twice by big boss...

so somewhat... i've already mentally prepared myself so i dun feel so much.

till date... i still dunno where we're heading... are we gg into the project or not? contract still not signed... should be put in effort? i really have no idea... anything can change these days....

let's see..

brushes with TP

2010-02-07T01:23:00.004+08:00

well... after the previous encounter with TP in KL... i thought it was the end.. but apparently not..

last night went out for dinner with my friend tina and got introduced to her other friends... then we went to a nice club for drinks... but on our way back.. there was a road block... n we got stopped -_-" n obviously the driver (malaysian) has exceeded the alcohol limit.. we tried to get things settled in another "manner" but the TP insisted that he blow the inhaler.... which he refuses.. cos he didn't wanna leave any evidence... so in the end... we left the vehicle at the road n disappear.. hope the poor chap get to reclaim his car back at a lower cost... :S feel so guilty! why do i always kena TP probs?! -_-"

whereas today is a fun filled day! went out w mai.. for a nice brunch at greyhound cafe at J avenue... then followed by teahouse (really nice ambience!) then followed by pedi and mani... and lastly.. a very nice foot massage (which i fell asleep :P). Lastly, we met with w a couple of friends for a very nice dinner at spring n summer restaurant.. haha had lotsa YUMMY food here... hahha.. so much for wanting to diet when i'm in Bangkok.. it's impossible with all the food around me.. haha gotta make sure i hit the gym tmr!!

Day 4

2010-02-05T00:14:00.002+08:00

Officially i declare i'm BAD with language.. till today i still having prob remembering my apartment address in thai... -_-"

i realise i'm immersing totally in work here.. (kinda no life) n just looking forward to weekends..

totally couch potato lifestyle here... work... eat... all in front of my computer... my living room n kitchen is TOTALLY unutilised... *raised eyebrow* I wonder if they'll help me wash my plates (there's no detergent available.. so dun blame be for being lazy ok!?!) so i shall test water with my room service order plate...

being able to video conf w dardar makes me happy :D

hoping there's no activity next fri den i can fly back earlier!

first day

2010-02-01T19:27:00.002+08:00

Technically today is day two in bkk.. but.. it's my first day at work.... getting used to the environment n stuff... the situation is still pending.. n things are getting complicated...

there's pretty much NOTHING near my apartment... so.. no shopping distractions... lolz

Chopping board

2010-01-27T01:07:00.002+08:00

Realised my managers and boss have put their head on the chopping board for me...

so i have to work doubly hard to prove my worth...

days in sg is precious.... enjoying it while it last... gonna embrace a different life soon.. wonder how i'll handle/cope...

New year

2010-01-16T21:11:00.001+08:00

Happy new year :)

New year, new job....

Hope it'll be a fruitful year ahead... :)

Happy 2010!!

Hmmm

2009-12-18T00:36:00.002+08:00

i think... i got a problem... hahha but maybe cos i already been thru... seen the other side of the grass so i know how difficult it is...

CRAZY

2009-11-25T19:06:00.001+08:00

i'm on mc but also in conf call now.... sighhh i had enuff... BO CHUP....

lot 25... resolved..

2009-11-03T15:14:00.000+08:00

典故：李广机智

李广是汉代的武将。勇敢善战善于骑箭。汉文帝时。李广领军攻打匈奴。经过一场激烈的战斗。李广的人马被打散，李广也受了重伤，被匈奴兵俘虏。匈奴兵把他放在两匹马驮着绳子织成的吊床里。想把他送到单于的大营去。李广躺在那张吊床上动也不动，真的像死了似的。大约走了十几里地，他瞅准旁边一个匈奴兵骑的一匹好马。使劲一挣扎，猛地跳上马夺了弓箭。把那匈奴兵推下马去。调过马头拼命往南飞奔。匈奴派了几百名骑兵追赶。李广一面催马快跑。一面回转身来。拈弓搭箭。一连射死了几个追在前面的匈奴兵。匈奴兵只好瞪着白眼让他跑了。李广终于脱了险。李广虽脱险。因他损兵折将，被判死罪。汉朝有一条规矩，罪人可以拿钱赎罪。李广缴了一笔钱赎了罪，回家做了平民。过了不久，匈奴又在边境骚扰，汉武帝重新起用李广，担任右北平郡（辽宁凌源西南）太守。这是后话

rantings

2009-11-03T14:39:00.001+08:00

just some rantings..

feeling super sianz... maybe.. just PMS...

just too much on my plate...

SIGH

wake me up when it's DEC....

decision n consequence

2009-10-27T23:23:00.002+08:00

i dunno n i dun look forward.... i hope i've made the right call......

there's nothing absolute and certain...

but that's life ain't it?

lot 25... again

2009-10-15T15:04:00.002+08:00

yep yep... in view of the change of events yesterday.... i went to seek divine advise again.

Guess wad... i got lot 25 AGAIN! what are the chances of getting the same lot again?!!! spooked ya? lolz... there's like hundreds lots but i got the SAME ONE again!!~~~

maybe.. that's a sign....

Hope the upper being dun find me irritating.. n keep asking the same question... haha

turn of events

2009-10-15T02:09:00.001+08:00

seriously... things happens when u least expects it....

but right now... i'm still not thinking too much about it... hahhaa... not in the mood...

can't wait for dec to come....
1. roll out of my 2 yr project
2. korea trip (shopping n shopping n lotsa shopping!! bling bling here i come!!)
3. buy iphone (yippie!!!!)

i heard m1 is launching iphone end of the year too... muahahah... not as if i'm a fan of m1... but i hope the competitiveness can help to drive the pricing down @ singtel.... lolz

i should be sleeping.... but there's so many things to be done...!!~

...

2009-09-29T13:52:00.001+08:00

Am i in denial? or am i stupid?

I'm getting mixed signals from people ard me.... sigh... dunno lah... i just hope i dun regret wad i've done...

gained 1 more day

2009-09-29T00:10:00.002+08:00

gained one more day to consider.. i'd formulate argument from both sides.... my heart tells me not to go... my mind tells me to go.... SIGH

as long as one day this doesn't get resolved... my headache will remain...

i've formulate my argument and analysis... will present my statement. If things remain the same... then i'll just let go of the 'opportunity'.

maybe because u dunno what you're getting... that's why u'll form an optimistic view of the so-called unknown....

but precisely it's a door of uncertainty.. that's why there's anticipation and hopes....

time to wake up my idea n work for $$?

Lot 25??

2009-09-28T13:45:00.001+08:00

Poem No. 25

Meaning: The underground water is coming out from an old, abandoned well.

Comments:
Help is on the way to an extremely difficult situation. Grasp this energy and expand your horizons. Open yourself up to greatness. High energy and enthusiasm project you forward into the light and love of the world.
This may be the fresh start you were looking for regarding finances, assets and your own sense of self-worth. Purse profesional and financial goals, and organize it ambitiously.

Sigh... where's that help?? i need the help.....

at work

2009-09-23T12:29:00.001+08:00

yeah.. i'm now at work.. but super sianz.... sighhh just some ranting.. but it seems like none of my job offers has ANY progress.... so shall actively look elsewhere le...

should be doing it this sat... when things are settled for now..

time flies

2009-09-21T23:34:00.002+08:00

today i met quite a few of my relatives today... suddenly realised they all aged alot... my cousins are suddenly are now having strands of white hair... talking abt getting their cpf money.. it suddenly dawned on me now much time has slipped thru my fingers....

indeed.. i've been working for 3 yrs already... time really flies....

must really treasure the time spent with your loved ones...

will have a busy week... :S

ps: i just splurged $170 on a pair of shoes n 2 tops....

goal

2009-08-21T00:32:00.000+08:00

as of today... i have a new goal in life!

i shall work doubly hard... so that next time he'll come n talk to me... i'll be the one giving him biz... n i'll twirl him ard my fingers.. :P

enuff childish thoughts :P but i'll work hard

lip service

2009-08-20T23:05:00.000+08:00

had enuff of lip servise. shall move forward.

what appears good might be bad ... and vice versa.

might not alway get wad u want... but it might be a blessing in disguise :D

i wish

2009-07-24T00:02:00.002+08:00

sighhh sometimes i wish i can dun care so much...

it'll make things easier.... a lot....

overwhelmed

2009-07-20T23:36:00.002+08:00

fantastic... my wardrobe is bursting.... arghhhh but why do i feel that i don't have enough clothes? or always wear the same thing? hmmmm i guess that's every ger's problem...

will schedule for a major overhaul when i'm back fr HK... gotta clear the old ones to make way for the new ones... i'm such a shopaholic...

hhahaa currently i still have 1 dress fr bkk, 1 dress of ck, 1 dress fr joop, 1 dress fr tw... 2 tops totally new..... hahhaha guess i have to stop buying clothes hoping i will slim down n fit into it... hahhaha!

my horoscope for today

2009-07-09T09:57:00.000+08:00

"A playful friendly coworker could help you increase your career options. You may be feeling a little disillusioned with your work - it's not that much fun. You can get some good advice from someone close by. For now, just relax and wait for the signal to move"

ok.. i shall patiently wait for THE CALL...

Lot 35 - 若问前程。前路可宜

2009-07-02T23:49:00.001+08:00

三五签、中签申宫：【唐僧取经】 衣冠重整旧家风。道是无穹却有功。扫却当途荆棘刺。三人若议再和同。

诗意：此卦衣冠重整之象。凡事先难后易也。

解曰：不用忧疑。自有佳期。若问前程。前路可宜。

故事：唐三藏信姓陈名祎。十三岁出家。法号玄奘。往天竺(印度)取经。历尽艰辛。四年始达。学习十五年后返国。携回大量佛经。并译成中文。西游记内述其故事。

交易－利 婚姻－阻 求财－好 自身－吉 家宅－乱

六畜－兴 田蚕－不利 寻人－至 行人－至 六甲－惊

山坟－宜旧讼词－有理疾病－祈福失物－迟见移徒－安

POV

2009-06-25T22:22:00.002+08:00

as we grow older... we begin to see more from another perspective... hmmm not necessarily good or bad... den i realised how complicated things are... so many linkage...

that actually some things can actually co-exist too...

quick entry

2009-06-21T11:56:00.002+08:00

now in my 'dodgy' hotel.. gg to check out in a couple of mins den head to office...

very different mood this time in KL.. but nonetheless i've made a very good friend... at least not the scheming type.. so i'm happy...

cold n cough has gotten worse.. need to have more rest this week when i'm back. hahha

lotsa first time encountered this time round

went to chill out with the team

kena stopped by TP n gotta give kopi $

last but not least.. experienced the KL jam late in the nite...

hahha home sweet home!!

double life

2009-06-07T23:59:00.001+08:00

i have experienced a double life this month.. hhaha well well.. but i've concluded that i'm really a very playful ger... hahha except my environment friends are not the playful kind.. else i think i'm gg to party like mad i think.. hhahaa

came back a little confused.. but kinds enjoyed the freedom :P

flying alone

2009-05-26T23:49:00.001+08:00

suddenly realised next mon will be the first time i'm alone on the plane... wad a weird feeling... but it's only for an hr.. hahhaaaaa

rollercoaster

2009-05-23T00:49:00.002+08:00

today was a day which my emotions went up n down... like roller coaster...

first i went to work seeing an email which pisses me off... got me really upset and demoralized...

then decided to go guan yin temple to pray.. which ended up i went with dar n 2 of his colleagues... cos they needed divine help too.. haha

then it seems like after that my day is passed smoother... quite certain that 1st week of june i'll travel to KL for work... i hope with this.. i'll gradually leave my role from current project... keeping my fingers crossed...

but i'm quite proud of myself to be able to keep my emotions in check.... at least i managed to draft an email stating facts without personal emotions.... :P

still learning... busy month in june.. might have to travel back n forth... we'll see....

that's it

2009-05-14T10:22:00.001+08:00

ok.. i'm damn fat... decided.. shall bring salad to work for lunch next week onwards (every alt days) better for health n save $$ too... inspired by a fellow colleague :)

shall really get my butt moving in the gym too... any partners?!

interesting quote

2009-04-29T11:19:00.001+08:00

'Most people get married too soon and more than half of all marriages, in the West anyway, end in divorce and probably most of the other half should. Most people get married before they know much about themselves, much about the world and much about life.'
saw this fr an article... so true!

mood

2009-04-23T10:44:00.003+08:00

suddenly in the mood to work hard... think i nuah too long already... maybe not motivated cos felt that i'm leaving soon... but today in the mood to work hard! hahaha

i know it's not my fault but it still sux

2009-04-21T14:15:00.004+08:00

sighhhh super duper sianz.... i'm like caught in the middle of a cross fire... finger pointing... politics... blah blah blah...

where has the kindness in human nature gone to?

SIGH... i'm just not good enuff i guess...

Target of the month

2009-04-21T10:28:00.002+08:00

Ok i think i've been toooooo muah.. too many things pending.. haha stuffs that i wanna do when parents not ard... zero percent done!! :( so i shall split up into one task per month :P

so this month shall start with something simplier (since only a few days left):
Apr - Load phone pic into comp
May - Sort / load all my photos into Mac / iPhoto + send phone for servicing
June - Sort all the new MP3 (haven't been sorting dem for the past half yr i think)
Jul - Develop hardcopy photos (overdued for YEARS)

keep my fingers crossed!~

today

2009-04-08T16:40:00.002+08:00

supposed to meet a client in the afternoon but was cancelled cos the client's wife gave birth... hahaha wad a timing...

didn't want to go back to plaza so stayed in tpy instead... now reading up the chinese RFP again.. but not in the mood so decided to do some FB quiz... here's some results:

What does your birthday says abt you:
Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless.Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride of oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends .

**quite accurate

What is your EQ?
Your EQ is 128
You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt.On an average day, you're quite happy, together, and content. You live your life well.Your emotions aren't always stable, but you can go along with the ups and downs pretty well.You tend to be motivated, energetic, focused, and level headed.You see the world pretty rationally, and you don't tend to over dramatize things. When things are bad, you know they eventually have to get better.

Mykii

2009-03-08T23:59:00.002+08:00

Yup today met up w my Pri 6 classmates to celebrate the Mar babies' bday at holland v...

Had a really great time hanging out with the whole bunch of them... :D esp the girls hehe...

Den in our conversation.. realized the how girls seems to lose their 'independence' when they're attached.. which i so totally agree.... heh.. i need to find back my own independence...

Today went to ktv also.. had a great time singing.. haha can't rem when was the last time i had such a great time singing :D

Last fri we had a celebration for koko's bday in advanced... really glad that everyone can make it... Thanks for the effort for organizing and attending!! :D

i guessed i had enuff of my own nonsense n i am going to pick up the pieces n move on! =) gambatte everyone!

living dead

2009-03-06T01:05:00.001+08:00

yeah... that's how i'm feeling rite now. emptied. realized eventually i only have myself.

Don't you miss...

2009-03-05T23:12:00.003+08:00

Don't you miss the times when he's anxious about what you're thinking.
Don't you miss the times when he does every silly thing he can just to cheer you up.
Don't you miss the times when he listens to every little thing that you says.
Don't you miss the times when he do everything just to get your attention.
Don't you miss the times when he go thru great length just to meet you.
Don't you miss the times when he's happy about the attention you gave him.
Don't you miss the times when he sms /call you every night.
Don't you miss the times when he share everything that happened to him.
Don't you miss the times when it felt like you're all he need.

maybe some distance are meant to be kept.

Thank god that i have a bad memory.. so i don't remember things.

running away

2009-03-05T01:05:00.004+08:00

yes... i'm running away from a whole load of things... recently feel very 'trapped'... very helpless with the lack of control on things that's happening to /around me.... feeling very tired :( i'm trying very hard not to snap at people around me when they ask me the wrong things... sighhh i know they mean no harm... but i'm very tired of the answering.........

if i can't hold on any longer i guess i'll just do something drastic bah... i just need my peace.... i need something to fill me up (total)...

feeling pain on my left gum... my own conclusion is the left top wisdom teeth has grown out n is rubbing the lower gum.. so.. have to find dentist to short term relieve it.. hope no need to cut gum.. (damn painful)...

weddings n weddings n weddings!

2009-02-17T00:38:00.002+08:00

well it's been donkey years since i last left an entry... hahha

been busy with CNY... then followed by work.. then venn's wedding... hahaa so many things packed into a short duration!!!

finally venn's wedding is over.. so tiring.. but really happy for them... :D

just when i thought i cleared 1/4 of the weddings for this yr.. then receive another invitation... wahhh i'm so gonna be broke!! :P so i'm now back at 4.... 1 in mar, 2 in may, 1 in jun (i think) n lastly one in dec..... :S

Spoil myself this month with a 4 mani-pedi session package :P in view of so many many weddings...

target for next month: ceramic hair curler!!

had a quick chat w one of my bosses today... seems like i'll be joining another area... which has to travel... let's hope the plans can be executed.. dun dare to hold my expectations too high cos chances of not fulfilling is very high as well. hahha

look n see bah..!

looking back

2009-01-23T00:07:00.002+08:00

hmmm though this year wasn't a fantastic year... but i'm still thankful for the turnout of events... considering how bad things could have become :D

1. At least i still have job and get paid (though there's lotsa nonsense)
2. At least my loved ones are still healthy and around me :)
3. I got a perm job and adjustment before the whole economy downturn :P
4. I get to still continue singing though the serious lack of commitment from me *guilty*
5. A couple of great colleagues befriended (though all either left the co or posted to other project) but i'm still glad that i had the chance to be part of the big family
6. Befriended many new friends thanks to salsa
7. Lost n found friends

so... conclusion - not a fantastic year.. but definitely still got sparkles of brightness here n there :D ox ox... here we come!!

Money matters

2009-01-22T00:45:00.003+08:00

Gosh... CNY is coming!!

received my credit card bill... amount still within expected amount... so not really shocked or wad.. though it's rather on the high side :P

intend to throw in my 13month into UT... hahaha

gotta save more!! so that hopefully all goes well then i can execute my plan for mid year... muhahaha

oh i've got my risk textbook.. have to start reading! :) it was a pretty good buy cos kino n borders selling at 150+ n i got from smu bookshop for 56 :P

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

our decisions

2009-01-21T00:15:00.002+08:00

was looking thru some donkey years ago photos... n i realised something...

Wearing braces is a decision i'll never regret!! it really helped a lot... cos of nicer teeth... i have the confidence to smile more... smile brilliantly...

one big contrast fr my past... cos my misalignment has affected my biting... so now.. it's a lot better hehhee more confidence to take photos.. though i still dun see the need to get a camera... haha

aching fr gym... enjoying it.. hhaa

bad news day

2009-01-20T00:24:00.002+08:00

Yup.. got a couple of bad news today...

an acquaintance passed away from cancer... n he's just a couple of years my senior! gosh... :(

my auntie's life-saving was accidentally known away by my cousin when she was spring-cleaning.. it's too much for her to handle.. sighh...

this year's CNY will be so different cos granny's too weak to prep the food items so mum is sourcing for caterer... suddenly it feels like everyone has grown apart over these few year... i miss those times when granny's house is a just a street across...

i'll remember once mum forgot to tell granny to pick me up fr tuition class... so i just stupidly sit outside the RC and do my work... den she just happen peer out of the window n see me sitting there alone.. n pick me up.. (those days dun have mobile phone lah). Though i'm not the closest grandchild of hers (unlike my sisters n kors who are being taken care by her) but she's always there to look after the grandkids (us) without fail :P

how time flies... i'm already going 25 le!!!! so fast..!! :S remember i used to think 28 is an ideal age to get married.. but now it seems so near... old old old liao...~

suddenly have an idea.. the next person to ask me when i'm going to get married.. i'm going to tell them i'm single!!! muahhhaa save me a lot of questions... hmmm will it?

gatherings

2009-01-14T00:03:00.002+08:00

today went to a group of friend's gathering.. technically they're his friends.. but i also know them quite well cos they're my seniors from camp / comp club....

the whole world is asking when we're getting married... how am i supposed to reply...? i really dunno... kinda like reached a point where it doesn't really matter to me... i'm happy with things they are...

i just bought (yes more buying) a plastic tray n some plastic slot... trying to make a drawer to organize all my belts.. hope it works!! DIY in progress... would be better if the tray has a cover.. but just a start.. haha

it's just another day..... meanwhile.. pray for me...

i'm a horrigible shopaholic

2009-01-10T23:47:00.003+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!! :D

how time flies n it's already 10 days into 2009!!

Gosh... hahha

Like my topic.. i've seek comfort in retail therapy.. hhaaa

(note... the items are on top of my mayuki purchases :P)

some updates on my BKK trip items:
1) 2 pairs of flats
2) 2 dresses (of which actually i bought 3 but the third one was too tiny so i sold away.. *sobsob*)
3) 3 skirts (working and casual)
4) 1 working dress
5) 3 belts!!! luv them all!
6) 1 t-shirt and 2 cotton tops
7) 2 shorts (which are too tiny for my fat butt.. gotta give away.. it's dirt cheap anyway)
8) 1 working jacket (black)
9) 1 white tube (really luv it.. so i'm going shed some fats to fit nicely into it)

so.... today is sorta like the last sale in spore departmental stores.. so gotta quickly go grab them!!

1) 8 bottles of makeup remover @$5.50 each (super duper good buy)
2) Kose black mask
3) hand-cream (sponsored)
4) shampoo & conditoner
5) contact lens solution (3 for $23 bucks)
6) 1 foundation, loose powder n blusher
7) 1 dress, 1 shorts, 1 top from fashion lab @ 30% discount each (think the dress is kinda overpriced but i really like it... so it's okay i guess :P)
8) 1 AX jacket... i just couldn't resist this... it's really very very very nice!!! n it's going at 50% discount!!!
9) a tiny WMF pot which u can purchase for $8 if u spend above a certain amt in metro...

oh yar... did i mentioned i got my friend to get 20 mask fr faceshop at ard half price than spore?! and also i got myself with a coach wristlet for <$200 as an xmas gift...

n i already bought dar his xmas n vday pressie already... hehhee

I REALLY HAVE TO STOP SPENDING else i'll be super BROKE!!~ or rather i already am!!

have to conserve resource for HK!!~

SIGH

2008-12-12T00:55:00.004+08:00

yesh.. i know that's a big sigh...

cos that's wad i'm feeling now...

i'm really struggling...

i feel the gap is getting bigger... maybe someone else is more suitable for him...

wad i can do for him are very little things.. insignificant stuffs....

sighhh i know he's always been so aggressive.. but it making me feel insecure... but i can't bring it up to him.. cos he's just like that...

PMS

2008-12-02T12:37:00.001+08:00

feeling damn sucky now.. dunno why... just very sucky

updates~

2008-11-27T00:18:00.003+08:00

Some little update on recent events...

Today celebrated gerrard's bday... he got so much toys..!! even the adults wanna play them...

Work: out of the 2 conditional signoff... i've got one already!!~ happy :D though it's not easy... but it's quite happy to see things moving... but it's really blindly bumping ard...

oh ya.. they're renovating the office.. so it's SUPER dusty lately.. so i'm suffering from more itchiness... scratching... rashes... blah blah... today i kneel down to plug lan cable... ended up rashes on my knee.... save me from the dirty office!

Personal: Yippie!! confirm gg to BKK lor..!! so looking forward to it.. and also.. my clearing my leave... hope i can bring forward some to the next year... but it doesn't help hearing the political unrest and the flights to BKK cancelled... hope they can resolve everything within the coming weeks...

Family: Finally manage to diagnose grandma's health prob... she's a minor of thalassemia... which is a genetic disorder... but being a minor.. all along it appears to be anemia.. only recently when she's older then the condition worsen.. she's much better le... :D at least she's eating n walking ard!! :D but we'll all have to go for checkup... since it's a genetic disorder....

pray for me..! something to look forward too...

Granted

2008-11-13T22:31:00.005+08:00

Maybe becos i'm always around so you're taking me for granted...
Maybe i'm just thinking too much...
Maybe you're just tired... u need a break...
Maybe i'm also tired... i also need a break....

I feel so empty... why is that so?
I feel like i'm making the futile effort...

Wad do i want?

I also dunno what you're thinking...

Hmmm

2008-11-12T23:19:00.000+08:00

something doesn't quite feel the same anymore...

can't pinpoint wad... hmmmmm

times

2008-11-10T21:50:00.002+08:00

times are bad.... really bad... seriously bad... sighhh i wonder how long more it'll take for singaporeans to realise the repercussion of it..

anyway.. i was listening to jj lin's album... really nice.. but don't have a complete feel of the album.. then when i heard jay's... it's really super good lah..!!! hhaha so basicaly i'm listening to it everyday... hahah

been spending a whole lot...! n i really mean.. a LOT... so i've got to STOP shopping... i'm going to be so broke!!! :( need extra income...!! hehe...
from the online purchase.. i bought a total of 8 items... (thankfully total add up to less than 100bucks). then i went to club 21 sale.. got a really nice AX jacket for 60, AX halter for 30 and 40 for a CK shirt... really happy with the purchase... lastly, i got a pair of Levi's jeans for 69 (cos -50 if u bring your old jeans to trade in, muahaha) some makeup stuffs for 65 and something fr BHG.... yesh... i'm spending a lot... so NO MORE shopping for me... (keeping my fingers crossed).. anyway i'll save the items for cny.. hahha then i dun have to shop for cny already lo! :P not forgetting this month still gotta pay for mum's bday present, gerrard's bday present... n my friends's baby's full month... $$$$$$$$$

i better watch my expenses..... else next month bill is going to kill me...

but in any case.. i'm not gg anywhere this year.. so it doesn't really matter le.. hahha :D

emo

2008-10-26T23:17:00.003+08:00

had a really good break over this weekend.. was on leave for friday... so basically been out since thurs nite... onwards... hahaha

just knew of another couple breakup... due to 3rd party. sigh... is LDR so hard to maintain? i'm a believer of u need to see each other to maintan r/s....

that's why.. i'm now facing a tough decision...

dunno man.... too many concerns....

everyone has different expectations in a relationship... problem arises when the expectations dun match... it's not easy...

Dilemma

2008-10-23T00:13:00.002+08:00

Can't make up my mind to stay or go... sigh... too many factors already...

family, friends, work scope, safety... etc etc

sighh... i'll think over the weekend...

latest status

2008-10-14T00:52:00.003+08:00

thought i'll drop by for a quick entry before i hit the bed...

last update... mid nov roll out of current project... then go to KL... we shall see..

been sleeping late lately.. hhaha n sleeping real soundly on the train.. oppz :P

btw.. dunno why recently i keep having strangers msg me on fb.... but i'm sticking to my policy of only adding friends....

take things one at a step bah...

Tug of war

2008-10-03T11:10:00.002+08:00

yes... the tug of war has begun... again..!

a month ago, arrangement was for me to go to the HK project... but based on how grim things are, people ard me also advise that i stay in current proj... n that's wad happened..

now plans are for me to go to KL project.. and now my current proj wants me to extend till end of nov... so dropped a note to my director n he's firm on pulling me out for the KL project..

well well... i also dunno which side is better.. both has it's pros n cons... seriously... but i hope he will be able to drop by today so that i can have a good chat with him.. n also a better understanding of the status on the other side... cos no matter wad.. i wan to do functional... so pointless if i go over there n do the technie stuffs... >.<

keeping my fingers crossed.. lotsa uncertainty.. but that's life..!

Confrontation

2008-09-15T23:49:00.002+08:00

This blog entry is a confrontation to myself... and also an entry to bid goodbye to my own past and gain control of myself.

I guess only a few of my friends know
how fragile i am deep down...
how lack of confidence i am...
how i fear relationships/marriage
how often i do things so that i can protect myself
how hard i'm struggling
and i'm not all that positive as i appear to be

over this period of time after i started working.. i've grown.. but the most significant for period was my time with Atos.. cos it's a harsher environment as compared to Singtel... more individualistic and also.. i've attended courses that enriched and widen my scope and thinking.. thank god that i have a 慧根 which enables me to learn n see things from many perspective and of cos the people around me helped me to grow as well...

I've been trying to push myself to limits that i've never explored before... face things that i know that i fear or is resistant to... However, deep down there's still a part of me, an old self which still hide in a dark corner of me, hindering my own progress as well. Thus, this entry is to dig it out, smash it and i will bid goodbye to it forever.

I may appear confident, but i need security more than anyone else... n my sense of security comes from others. Which means i'm very reliant on others to provide my sense of security.
The cause of it came from the rocky period of my parent's marriage. I blamed myself for what happened. I detest my own existence... i wished that i never came into the family... i imagined how happier they'll be without me n the terrible things will not happen. Hence i try to make my existence outstanding so that i do not blend into the background, which is once again, seeking assurance from others....

My lack of faith in love, relationships is strongly clouded by my parents... n also my own sister's marriage. Basically killed every bit of confidence i have in a relationship... n thus the lack of confidence will shadow my behavior/actions/thoughts every now and den like a plague, which damaged everything that was painstakingly built up.

I always sought the approach to run away instead of facing...

But things r not all bad cos it served as a form of motivation for me to excel better than my sisters... muahaha :P but looking back at things.. i might just be the factor pulling the family together :D

If a day ever comes that my own relationship is not able to work out i will not regret it, cos i've tried and it's the process that matters, not the ending.

Even if one day i'm alone on this world, i'll still be brave everything and take everything to my stride.

i don't need to feed on wad other's say about me to feel good about myself.

I will love myself and truly have control of myself and stand on my own feet... i know i can't do that overnight... but i'm confident that it'll be in the near future.

Time to put the nonsense to a stop once n for all!!! Our actions determine how 'lucky' we are. So it's time to play the game right!

just a side track.. i really need to get my leg recovered so that i can resume my gym regime!!! grr.... n i sent my phone for servicing so i have NO contacts.. not a single number in the phonebook... >.<"

Sep entry

2008-09-15T15:35:00.004+08:00

writing this entry with mixed n confused feelings.. dunno how to say it also..

Anyway.. mum told me that my grandma, uncle n cousin are gg to stayover at my house cos my uncle's house is under going renovation. I'm really happy abt it cos ever since my sis got married, it's kind quiet in the house... so now we've got company.. n my mum has always wanted to bring my grandma to stay with us.. so maybe after this temporary arrangement she'll continue to stay at my house or wad... hehee..

i might need to share my room with my cousin so i've better arrange some time to pack my stuffs... hhahaa i've got sooo many things...

i'm also hoping their presence will help to improve my parents' relationship.... keep my fingers crossed!

**ooo, realised it's been a month since i last met up with 'them' but still nothing finalized... lagi best... **

Uncertainty

2008-08-29T22:09:00.003+08:00

With regards to my previous post, obviously they're still taking their own sweet time to get back to me.. anyway i'm in no hurry.. so let them take their time lor..

DF has finally told us the full story and i most prob will not be going to the hk project cos it's just that bad..!

So... today was suppositely my last day in scb but it's been extended.... dunno wad will be my role so i'll leave everything to monday.. hahaha!

gotta go take my tcm for my injured/strained leg/back... sighhhhh no more super high heels for me!!!!

woman are such typical beings... (including myself) i remembered how my mum used to oppose to me carrying sling bag when i go overseas n insist i use backpack... now she's borrowing my bag to go tibet.... well well *rolls eye* hahaha

gotta quickly go sleep.. have to wake up at 4am to drive them to the airport.... 1 week of absolute freedom.. woo hoo!

Anticipation

2008-08-17T23:33:00.001+08:00

Wonder wad they'll offer tmr... we shall see... will update here once things are finalized.. :P

Another year has passed..

2008-08-04T13:35:00.003+08:00

Yep yep my bday came n left with lotsa fun!! Thanks everyone :D

It all started with Friday.. the team in scb BCRS project celebrated for all the august babies their day!! :D yummy mango cake!

Then meet up with tracy, harold, qiqi and koko for drinks at a pub at dempsey... nice place :D although a little warm.. but it's very nice.. the staff are nice too :D thanks tracy for going thru the trouble to get the cake.. buy pressents n organize the outing! :) lotsa pics posted on fb le.. :D heehee

saturday was a day for resting before more celebrations.. hee.. went to watch money not enought 2 at the kallang leisure park.. quite disappointed by the show... maybe have too much expectation... but there's things quite farnie in the show as well :D

Hee after show then went to the old hk cafe at east coast where i got my bday pressie fr dearie! :D Thanks a lot :D although that's not the size i'm looking for but it's still nice.. :D really! nicer the longer u look at it :) hee hee n it's not as small as it seems hahahha :P thanks for the reminder that i'm no longer young le... :~(

Woke up real early on 3rd aug morning to go to changi airport to send daphne off.. she's going to jap for 1 year... then we went for popoye chicken for breakfast.. hmm it's not at yummy as i hope it will leh.. hehe... then jessica n ji n dar sprang a surprise bday cake on me... hahha thanks sia!! :D

After the journey to the east.. we went back to catch more sleep den went to sentosa.. hhehe... i realised things at sentosa is super expensive!! :( gosh...! heng it's my day.. so they got some promotion that i get to enter for free at certain places.. :P watch the 4d show n songs of the sea... songs of the sea in my perception is just musical fountain packaged with a super lame story line n den they charge u 8 bucks for it.. hahhhaha but it's nice... the effect etc etc... no wonder there's super lotsa people who went for it... :)

oh yar.. i forgot to mention... my shoe was spoilt so i got another pair of shoes from everbest. i like it :D hee hee

another year older already.... old liao!!~~~ looking forward to the dinner celebration with family on thurs.. :D

nonsense

2008-07-31T22:03:00.001+08:00

the company i'm working for is a nonsense place... really.... it's terribly messy... i've had enuff... i'm going to look for other openings.. will actively look for job after this weekend..

numb

2008-07-22T22:04:00.001+08:00

sighh feeling quite numb these days.. dunno is it for better or worse.

It's an absurd world out there

2008-07-06T11:15:00.003+08:00

Last nite went to holland village with dar... n we met with the somebody very absurb at the carpark. We were waiting for this van to come out fr the lot so that we can reverse into the lot from the front.. den this car behind the lot just went head in!!! we got really upset so we horned at him to let him know we are waiting for the lot before him.... if u weren't thinking of snatching people's lot u won't go HEAD IN lor... so obviously u are snatching people's lot! den have we keep horning at him, he decided to return the lot to us.... BUT this female who was sitting at the passenger seat took out her camera phone n tried to take picture of our car plate. WAD's WRONG WITH THEM? they are the ones who snatched our lot n want to take our car plate number?! it should be the other way round isn't it? Well.. if u arn't snatching people's lot, why did u come out after we horned at u? if u accidentally took our lot.. then why are u taking picture of our car plate? This is nonsense... scared anything happened to ur car... can point finger at us cos u took pic of our car plate? wake up ur idea lah... wad's the point? if u din snatch other people's lot, why u head in ur car... why u come out after we horned at u? similarly, if u have the guts to snatch people's lot den why scared people do anything to ur car...

not very smart eh? u are also a driver.. what if others did the same to u? think we nice to bully izzit? well.. if they've not snatched our lot.. they'd have gotten another lot further down the carpark lor! oh ya.. we should've high beamed at the bo-liaos when she tried to take the picture... ahahhaaa so *evil*

Oh ya... i've rebonded my hair le :) *wink*

sighhh my current work project is a nonsense project also.. can't wait for it to be over... they really think we can perform magic sia....

Very belated father's day dinner

2008-07-04T23:19:00.002+08:00

Finally something non-work related..

Had a family dinner just now at Legends (Fort Canning).... hahah i was too lazy to take photos.. so no photos... But we over-ordered so had lotsa food to dabao back... >.<

As usual, the toufu is nice... the cod fish is nice... my sister also ordered the lobster fried rice in coconut... yummy! really nice... n the way they cooked with the peking duck meat is super nice too!! so tender... hahhaha already decided i'll bring them to the teochew restuarant at keypoint to celebrate my birthday!

Bao bei is so so so cute!!!! :) although he still din greet me.. but he let me hold his hand around... n he's so lovely... n so much things to tok tok tok... hahha as for mei mei, as usual.. she's the drama princess... though she's too little to eat... she is still making lotsa noise to attract attention n ask for food to eat... as a form of participation.. hahahaa

sighhh got a call fr ctf n another fr barry towards the end of the dinner... sianz...

Promotion

2008-07-02T23:32:00.002+08:00

Yep.. i've gotten a promotion fr my current co... but i don't feel happy or wad, cos:
1. It was a gesture made cos everyone was leaving
2. It was the correct level for me based on my experience n capability...

so... wadever the case is... i dun really feel anything...

Officially i will roll out of scb project on 31 aug... den my next project will be located in HK... see how bah.... sighhh feel quite numb about things going around... maybe cause i'm not that attached to the company... i only focus on my own progress now.

Tmr is gg to remove stitch le... yeah!! :D

2 more months in scb... can count down already!!

Updates ouch

2008-06-29T22:54:00.002+08:00

Yep.. this update is with an *ouch*

went for my dental surgery on thurs... damn painful lah!!!! n expensive.. so it all depends on how much i can claim fr the co dental... till now i still can't eat properly.. hopefully things will be back to normal when i remove the stitch...

finally cleared all the wedding banquet for the month of jun... here comes july!! Time really flies sia!!! my bday coming soon!

n according to the official email, i'll exit the scb project on 31 jul!! i wonder wad will happened to me next.... keeping my finger crossed.... hope i'll also get a clearer picture after tomorrow...

Got 3 sessions of muchuan this month... wonder how many more i will carry on... it all depends on my work also... >.<

oh ya... my sister caught this flu bug which her 2 kids, maid n husband all kena.. n cannot eat milk n egg. Now my mum is also sick.. wonder if it's the same virus... sighhhhh hope they get well soon!

More updates!

2008-06-20T23:46:00.002+08:00

Finally managed to get my router working *winks* so happy!

Anyway... i wanted to write down that on the 12 Jun, i finally allowed my friends to go support me at muchuan... haha my ex-colleagues and the counterparties from chengdu came down to support me!! really touched... i hope they had an enjoyable time... waiting for yee teng to come back fr her japan trip n get the photos from her! :)

Tmr also singing there... hope can do a good job tmr! :) furiously printing lyrics now.. haha... need to add more songs.... :P oh yar.. did i mention they finally moved from grandlink to kallang cc... last time there quite complicated area... so now it's much better :)

As for my job... now there's big tsunami in the department... the RF are leaving the co also... will be seriously understaffed... but i think i'll hang ard more.. to see how things goes before i take any action.... hope it's a right choice...

This month i'm so so so broke!! i had 4 weddings to attend... now left one 1 last one on the 28th... i better go help esther n earn some $$....

Also, i've scheduled my gum cutting dental surgery next thurs... so i'll be on mc for thurs n fri (hee painful long weekend)... i need lotsa courage... hope it won't be too painful... really worried leh... n it's gonna be another sum of $$ to payout :( sighhhh poor me...

Wanted to go straighten my hair this month one.. seems like it's gonna be delayed cos i'm sooo broke! anyway the curls still look ok i guess... hehe

SNBB

2008-06-20T00:11:00.002+08:00

For once i get good service from singnet.... first time using it.. so had to setup... waited for 15 mins before my call was answered... but it's very helpful... n patient.... :) thanks a lot sia!!

with monthly subscription to internet... i'll go online real often... next challenge is to get my wireless modem working... wish me luck....!

saturday gone

2008-05-24T17:03:00.001+08:00

i'm now at office since 9am... baby sitting some stuffs because the other people are not responsible for their own stuffs n the person who's supposed to be here has family commitment n can't be here..

thanks.

我的好人

2008-05-16T00:15:00.002+08:00

Very in love with this song now... :) by 蔡淳佳

是我的泪
滴在纯白玫瑰
但我愿意
是那么坚定无悔
当未来都不如想象美
但你答应爱从不减退
绝对完美

你好得让我想去爱
迫不及待
如果天空会塌下来
你会先带我离开
多希望时间不存在
我要和你永远不分开

在粉碎
过去真挚的的美
只在沉醉
无名指的光辉
不奢望能赋予生活
只要能每天抱着我说你爱我

你好得让我想去爱
迫不及待
如果天空会塌下来
你会先带我离开
多希望时间不存在
我要和你永远不分开

当每次感动每次呼吸
只有你才能懂
我在你的心口
才能梦得见彩虹

多希望时间不存在
我要和你永远不分开
你好得让我想去爱
我迫不及待
一直到头发都灰白
也都无法停下来
多希望时间不存在
我要和你永远不分开
我要和你永远不分开
永远不分开

one more day!! just one more day till long weekend... hang one there!!

hee realised it a comfort to dance salsa in dancing shoes... hahaha can dance longer liao :P

It's may...

2008-05-07T23:34:00.003+08:00

Yesh.. time flies... it's already May le...

Hmmm nothing much except i keep having to work late... sighhhh why why why!! hahahaha bo bian.. it's all the vendor lah... so much delay... grr

today i got my confirmation letter... happy!!! :) slight increase in pay... but still much lesser than when i'm back in singt** wad to do.. i chose one... hahhaa n it seems like i'm entitled to the bonus payout also... hmmm ok lah..not having any expectations on that though... hhaha. if got anything more than 100 bucks can laugh head off le.. hhahaa i'm so skeptical...

today started intermediate salsa... a little rusty.. but not too bad... hahah i din realise how much i miss dancing... :P will begin my 6 weeks of 2 days salsa in a week... i think it's pretty good cos u'll remember wad is learnt better... hahha but for salsa.. it's eventually the guys leading... :P
will need more practise to get my steady turning n tidy feetwork...

will need to buy the dancing shoes.. my current heels looks like they'll break anytime..

looking forward to a salsa n mj session at tracy house on sat :) since dardar most prob will not be available... hahha i better find some time to go practise my singing n keyboard also!! :P

hahha just realised dar's birthday is just a week away... need to make arrangement le.... hee hee.. :P

N i must also remember to pack ang pow for mummy for mother's day.... going to be a broke month... :(

dunno why is june such a good month for wedding.. got 3 weddings to attend... 2 are jb's friends one and 1 is my own friend one at chijmes... hahha quite looking forward to the chijmes one cos i think it's gonna be quite different fr the usual ones... however, i'll be attending alone... as in really alone! cos i only know my friend... no other common friends unless she invite the ex-colleagues fr HP... was pondering whether to go or not... but i remembered she also attended my 21st birthday although she doesn't know anyone... so i decided i shall go.. :) to give my blessings... hahah who knows? maybe i'll meet some guys that i can intro to my other friends... :P muahahhahaa isn't that the hidden agenda for weddings? :P

Very much in love with daniel chan's cantonese compilation... :) need to find time to change my blog music lo... :)

had really great time playing wii mario n sonic olympics with qiqi n tracy n dar at my house last sat :)

Mid April

2008-04-21T20:21:00.003+08:00

Yep yep.. it's been some time since my last blog entry... nothing much happened actually..

Finally managed to get my mac OS update working... n of cos the time machine as well... happy!!

Dar's desktop has finally arrived and i've converted it to my mp3 downloading machine... opps...

Today is supposed to mark the kickoff of UAT for this phase... but it's been delayed... so it'll kick in tomorrow.. unless accident happens... but very unlikely.. so tmr will be a busy day for me!!

Lastly... finally dar agreed to go salsa class with me... i hope he'll enjoy the class n continue to learn... as for WHY he decided to learn... i guess it's mainly out of Guilt! hahhaaa... shan't say too much here... :P

Met up with yee teng n junna for dinner on last wed... a pity we forgot to take pictures... but i've received really nice snacks fr junna fr her japan trip!! yummy!!

Sudden urge to get nice straight rebonded hair.... it's too troublesome maintaining curls le... sianz.. i shall bear with it till june den go straighten it!!

Super looking forward to GSS! my bulk buying item supply is running low.. n i'm super gian to go shopping for clothes n shoes. N my wallet is 'opening' up le... so it's time for a new one le...

So much to do... so little time!!

Grateful Thought of the day: Having dinner at home... haha

Beijing Pics Part I

2008-04-09T22:38:00.006+08:00

Heyo...

Managed to get the pictures from Damian camera.. still waiting for those in KT... grr... he's so slow... as usual.. >.<

Hmmm we have 4 singaporeans, 2 thais, 4 coursemate fr beijing, 2 facilitators fr beijing (who acc me to the hospital) and 1 from UK... hmm pretty obvious who's who huh...

N above is a photo of the singapore team with the trainer.. our last dinner in beijing... We had authentic peking duck!! N they rest tried the china spirits... dun worry it's not a real duck in the pic... hahaha but it's yummy!!

Oh.. did i mention my expensive lychee choc only had 10 pieces in that big box?! *faintz*

Will load more pic when i get the remaining fr kor...

Grateful Thought of the day: Hmmm guess i'm pretty glad that i'm starting to have more responsibilities? heheee

Be grateful

2008-04-07T21:37:00.003+08:00

Hey hey... been some time since my last update. Decided to leave a note here.

My cold has more or less cleared :)

Got so bored at office that i decided to create a facebook acct... yesh i know i'm slow.. but i'm real bored u see... haha

had to stay late in office today cos people give me things late.. n decided to be nice to help clarify some things... hope that can reduce the frustration in the team..

i must count my lucky star today... there was train disruption at cck, yewtee... n i managed to catch the last north bound train before service disruption... though it take longer than usual... but it beats missing the train n stuck at the station right? haha

Decided to dedicate a 'be grateful' section in the blog at the end of ever post... to remind myself of things i'm grateful to.

Grateful Thought of the day: I'm glad to be able to catch a glimpse of dar when i alight the train at dolby ghaut today :) n of cos... getting up the train so that i dun have to take cab to work today :)

Back fr Beijing!

2008-03-26T22:44:00.002+08:00

Hello all!!

i'm back fr beijing!!! it's been a rather exciting trip!

Health: Firstly, i was there with a really bad blocked nose n my gastric prob acted up, which they sent me to the suburb hospital.. which, they took an x-ray n blood test.... >.< quite over-reacting huh... (well well i've now been to taiwan hospital n beijing hospital.. wad's next? CHOy!!! i din wanna see a doc one.. but they force me...

Course: It's Very useful.. n interesting... :) learnt a whole lot... now is to apply wad i've learnt.. no matter which industry u're in.. actually it's really useful.. but i guess u learn better with the exercise.. whoever is keen can borrow the notes fr me :)

Change is good!!! (when with a positive mindset)

Had an experience working with colleagues fr thailand n beijing... i can't really say much.. but i think.. we dun really work well with the bj peeps... haha.. i can share my personal exp with u...

Food: Food there is not really exciting... got pretty bored.. cos we eat only at the resort and they only have a chinese n international restaurant.. as the resort is located at the suburb, there's nothing else nearby... beijing city is an hr car ride away... so.... eating out option is not an option..

Accommodation: Basically, everyday we have items to discuss/do during nite time... so didn't really have time to explore the resort area, miyun. Not much things anyway... haha.. that's their point.. to stop us fr hanging outside at nite, they choose a place with nothing nearby... there's only 1 night which we have no work n played the recreational activities in the resort... we played pool.. n for the first time, i tried archery. Not bad sia.. i quite like it, except it's VERY tiring.. hee hee.. n of cos.. we played bowling as well :)

On my last day, the course ended late afternoon. reached the beijing office at lido tower (yes it's called lido also) n went out for dinner... we had peking duck!! yum yum.. n it's indeed really nice.. quite similiar to wad we have in spore also.. n my quiet colleague actually ordered some chinese spirit called 二鍋頭. which.. i obviously stayed away cos it's 54% concentration!! KT got addicted to it though... hahha

But i really had a great time with my spore colleagues also... haha.. which the 2 guys we keep teasing them having a relationship... n i always call them kor when i needed their help with stuffs. haha... so they know better to siam when i call them kor... hahhaa

reached spore on tues 630 am.. thankfully my boss told us to take the day off.. which i used the time to unpack n see doc regarding my nose...
Sorry pals... my itinerary was too packed.. i totally have no time to buy stuffs at all... sighhh wad a pity.. i went all the way to china n i only caught a glimpse of the Olympics 'nest' and blue cube from the cab when it pass by...

only managed to grab a packet of lychee white choc fr the airport for 90 rmb... only when i open up the box then i realise there's only 10 pieces inside... wahhh so expensive! but they said it was nice.. so it's okay lah...

oh ya.. another side tip.... 10 rmb is enuff for tipping in BJ... lesson learnt from a 20rmb....

coincidentally... han also went to BJ for work the same day i arrive! but we're at 2 different areas.. n my area has NO train service... so no chance to meetup.. hhaha... so qiao

will see when KT kor pass me the trip photo then i can post it up.... given his speed.. i think he's gonna take weeks b4 he pass to me.... >.<

Meanwhile.. i'll help D kor to pray hard that he'll move off his 'old cheese' soon... he's a really nice guy.. too nice already.. so gers always bully him... poor thing.... doubt he'll see this anyway haha
N also... Xr dad in law to recover asap :)

Yet another week

2008-03-09T09:49:00.002+08:00

Survived another week at work... not too bad, at least for now... n i know i've got the capability to do well... so must work hard!

Received news that i'll be posted to Beijing for 1 week of training... looking forward to it yet not... confused feelings... but that's wat i like abt the co... lotsa training.. hope it'll be useful n not some common sense course... hahaha think it's below 0 degress there... bless me!! i better take flu vaccine b4 i go over...

Dardar has just had his last day in POSB yesterday.. i guess it's high time for him to move on in terms of his career... i'm just unhappy how unGlam they (the mgmt) handled the things... So unprofessional.... *bleh* but nvm, he's gone for something better, more challenging... i guess it'll bring him out of his comfort zone n bring out the challenging spirit back in him again....

I've offered to send daddy n mummy to airport tomorrow... will try practise driving dad's car tonight...

Weekend

2008-03-02T22:07:00.002+08:00

Weekend is about to end and tmr is going to be monday again!!

A lot of "energy" running thru the office... not convenient to comment too much... but i'm just an on-looker...

Went to Bugis to watch Gary sing.. supposed to start at 6pm... n based on past experience.. we reached at 640.... n he just finished singing the last song... OH MAN.... which artiste reach on time for such stuffs??! Dardar was so disappointed...

Finally get to go ktv today.. :) very happy.. sing until no energy left... hehee started the harry potter for wii... hmm i guess i need more time to get the hang of it... but it's like watching more than playing.. well...

Had my keyboard class n we started to play 遇見. Hmmm quite simple... at least to be it's easier than 安靜. but i dunno how long more i'm going to carry on the classes... hahaa :P

Then we went to the kallang leisure park... Really EMPTY... nothing much actually.. but it's BIG.. got cinema, ice skating ring, bowling n some restaurants... note i used the term SOME... haha... well maybe business will pick up when the mrt line is open.. else how to survive based on the concert-goer crowd?

Oh, did i mentioned that i shifted seats? which mean i'm sitting right in front... sianz.. cannot skype so often liao... but it's sorta.. like my seat... so i can put more personal stuffs lor... i'm looking forward to chances to go overseas... haha... still young ma... n it seems like... i can acc my sister to holland jun.. cos i've submitted my leave days already... hehe... hope it can be carried out. :)

Hmm maybe tomorrow i should go temple n pray for deardear..

N regarding my new fitness regime.. i haven't been too strict on it.. but i'm at least increasing my veggies intake... think tmr will hit the gym again :)

Fitness regime

2008-02-27T23:17:00.002+08:00

Has made up my mind to tryout this plan of mine, with effect from 1st Mar. Shall continue it for a period of 3 months.

Diet
Shall eat 50% veggies, which shall be interpreted as veggies/fruits mainly for lunch n dinner.
Stay away fr deep fried food... :( n minimal sweet drinks (shall bring teabags to office)
2 meals per weeks are designated to eat whatever i wan :)

Workouts
Decided to hit the gym twice per week
Once on weekday 35 mins on the stepper
Once on weekend 60 mins usual set of workout

Wish me luck! hope i can tone down the flabby-ness on this regime. I'm open to any suggestions to make it more effective!

There was a fire broke out at PBTP. My office is on the 11th floor n the fire is on the 4th floor. Have no idea wad happened n wad caused it. But apparently there was 4 fire engine called in... The crowd took so long to evacuate that we were stuck in the stairs for super long.. we would've died if the fire is a big one... when we finally reached progressed to the 4th floor, the firemen has already reach also.. which means.. we're still not evacuated the building when the firemen reached!!! They r super efficient n we're super slow.. well well... VERY curious on wad cause the big hoo haa... Hmmmmm

Electrical weekend

2008-02-25T22:59:00.004+08:00

Target of saturday: get a N51 for dar dar n W960 for myself

Yup i've traded in my K800i for a W960i... with a price of $100 bucks hee hee

Basically, dar went to sign up starhub corp plan n can purchase the phone at $438. With a $200 starhub discount voucher, we got the phone for $238. Then we proceed to toa payoh to find a shop to buy my phone.. went to first shop, at first they quoted $150, but later they said cos my phone motherboard was replaced, so they can only offer me $100. So we went to another shop which offered $140 (they din check the change n motherboard, so i suppose they dun mind due to different business operation model) so effectively my hp cost only $100 :) very good deal cos it's got a 8GB memory!!

And as for dear, we sign up for N51 at $48 with my singtel plan :) win win situation

Basically with this phone, i dun need another mp3 player or pda cos it's all in one.. n i'm intending to load movies into it so that i can watch on the train.. :) really pleased with it... there's only 1 problem though... my previous phone contacts are backup into the memory stick. However, cos this phone already have 8gb, there's no expandable memory slot.. hence i can't retreive my contacts fr the memory stick... so my solution is that i'll use dar computer to read my memory stick n extract the backup contact n load into my hp... then retrieve the contact fr the backup file into the phone. Hope this approach works... else... i'll be doomed!! wish me luck! :)

so far so good for using the phone :) only prob encountered is connecting to the internet cos i think by default it's using starhub setting n my simcard is singtel... well.. i'll bring it to singtel to settle it ba...

Today

Suppositely, today's training should be on Merger n Acquisition, but it turned to be swapped with enterprise architecture. Hence it was almost 11am when the queen is notified.. hence she's really upset.. so she got those who're supposed to attend EA to go over... so i got deployed over n missed out the entire introduction of the course... sianz...

Heard abt the company changes from EH... dunno what to expect... haha... but i'm really looking forward to all the training opportunities :) one thing i really like abt this place... hehe... but seems like i wun have much involvement in other proj all the way till SCB proj ends... well.. pros n cons la...

I tried the hairdryer i bought on sun... not bad.. :) quite happy... it's really troublesome to maintain curls... but can't help it... :P hope the dryer can help it last longer!

Oh yar.. i forgot to mentioned that the dearest admin published 2 new boxes of namecards for me, which will be of no use at all. Reason 1: Company has individualized... no longer named under the big umbrella... Reason 2: Shifting office to Toa Payoh... which means the current address printed is no longer valid... so much for utilizing resources.... >.<

Happy New Year!

2008-02-19T21:34:00.008+08:00

It seems like ages since my last post.. quite a lot happened over this period of time...

Lunar New Year Day 1

As usual, visit my paternal n maternal side relative. Nothing much happening. Took some pics of 大寶 and 小寶 :)

Yesh, that awkward expression of his is his definition of smile.... kids.... >.<"

Lunar New Year Day 2

Went to visit junbin's relative and had a SUPER DISAPPOINTING dinner at long beach restaurant (main branch)... Their efficiency is super bad.... sighhh never go back there again... Watch Kungfu Slam Dunk also... not too bad.. hhaha.. in comparison i think it's nicer then CJ7 cos it's more exciting.. :P

Before i realised... v-day has quietly came... n as usual, i got practical gift for dardar. Had a nice dinner at Bakerzin and went to watch jumper. But the show is not as nice as i hoped... so disappointing.

My pleasant surprise delivered to my office... quite weird cos i think i'm the only one on that floor to receive flowers, at least at my side of the office.

Need to dl and load new songs into my hp since i'm intensively listening to mp3 on the train... haha

Yesterday met up with RVHS arts club gals... gosh it's been ages since i last met them... haha.. amazing how everyone has changed.. n i realised a lot of my RV friends has actually went for their masters, phd blah blah blah... well... academic was never my cup of tea.... wondered why i went RV anyway.. haha... no wonder i'm in the non-norm stream during my days there... haha

Oh yar... did i mention that my ASEAN MD's uni classmates are my uni lecturers?? Small world sia...

Have to attend a compliance workshop tomorrow.. hope i dun fall asleep.... but looking forward to the 3 day training next week.... heard it's not cheap leh...

N i need control my spending le... pocket big hole burnt liao!!

Survived

2008-02-02T13:46:00.000+08:00

Was attending training for the past week n i'm really beginning to feel glad n appreciate the biz modules i took during nus... it helps :) but i guessed it's time to search that part of my memory in my brain..

Friday's salsa was fun! getting better at it.. somehow, it feels very natural already :) Met up with xr, qi n tata for anti-monopoly boardgames at amk. It was great fun... think we'll play again next time with a more clear mind n detailed reading of the instructions! heee hee.. but it has proven that monopoly is still the way to earn the cash.... hehe

N thanks to dardar for being the treasurer for the game n stayed till the end though it wasn't intended...

Another achievement in the week was i drove myself home after playing games with them... hee hee... took a while to do my parking.. but i'm pretty proud of it... haha... not forgetting to mention this other P-plate car driver who's supposed to leave the carpark actually delayed moving off to see me do my parking.. >.<

Not bad huh... keke... obviously i'm the one in the center... with the obvious p-plate sign... fyi, the car on the left is a jaguar... haha... was exceptionally careful with that side... keke

BASEL II

2008-01-30T00:13:00.000+08:00

Extracted from Wikipedia

Basel II is the second of the Basel Accords, which are recommendations on banking laws and regulations issued by the Basel Committee on Banking Supervision. The purpose of Basel II, which initially was published in June 2004, is to create an international standard that banking regulators can use when creating regulations about how much capital banks need to put aside to guard against the types of financial and operational risks banks face. Advocates of Basel II believe that such an international standard can help protect the international financial system from the types of problems that might arise should a major bank or a series of banks collapse. In practice, Basel II attempts to accomplish this by setting up rigorous risk and capital management requirements designed to ensure that a bank holds capital reserves appropriate to the risk the bank exposes itself to through its lending and investment practices. Generally speaking, these rules mean that the greater risk to which the bank is exposed, the greater the amount of capital the bank needs to hold to safeguard its solvency and overall economic stability.

Have to start studying on that...preferably over the weekend... to prove my worth!

Looking forward to cny... :) counting down

**stargazing**

i hate myself

Old already

好心痛你

What makes u ticks?

So it's not by chance!

Most blissful december ~ 2010

Happiness

有的必有失

warm fuzzy feeling

who are ur friends

chances

expectations

dark

Long time no see

hmmm

Frustration

FAT!

disillusioned project manager

brushes with TP

Day 4

first day

Chopping board

New year

Hmmm

CRAZY

lot 25... resolved..

rantings

decision n consequence

lot 25... again

turn of events

...

gained 1 more day

Lot 25??

at work

time flies

goal

lip service

i wish

overwhelmed

my horoscope for today

Lot 35 - 若问前程。前路可宜

POV

quick entry

double life

flying alone

rollercoaster

that's it

interesting quote

mood

i know it's not my fault but it still sux

Target of the month

today

Mykii

living dead

Don't you miss...

running away

weddings n weddings n weddings!

looking back

Money matters

our decisions

bad news day

gatherings

i'm a horrigible shopaholic

SIGH

PMS

updates~

Granted

Hmmm

times

emo

Dilemma

latest status

Tug of war

Confrontation

Sep entry

Uncertainty

Anticipation

Another year has passed..

nonsense

stargazing

Updates ouch